WHERE DOES WORRY TAKE US?

When created in His image and entrusted a unique responsibility of tending and keeping the earth, God wanted us to depend on Him, seek His guidance and follow His design. But, many a times we forget this and assume that we know everything.  When things go against our plans, we tend to worry about everything. The result is confusion, tension and depression thereby becoming totally hopeless.

You take any flower bud and try to unfold it without destroying it; you will see that it is not possible to do it as it naturally happens.  Then you read the following poem:

"It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so easily,
But in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust in God for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to God for guidance
In each step along the way.

The path that lies before me,
Only my Lord and Savior knows.
I'll trust God to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.”

You are invited to read Mtt. 6: 25-34 to know what Jesus says about the tendency of worry. God knows better than us and He is capable to unfold the future in the right time.  Depend on Him. 

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT

Human beings are created to be different from any other species of the earth. We are the only species who can think differently and act differently. When we observe other creatures, they are born, fed and grow in the same manner for any number of generations – we are undeniably the ones who have forced them to change, if at all they have changed! We know that human being have the capacity to change the pattern of life and have indeed changed from generation to generation. The secret of change is evident if we observe the ones who created history in their fields of interest – architects change the pattern of dwellings, scientists and technologists change the pattern of living, artists change the pattern of aesthetics, philosophers and religious teachers change the pattern of ethics and morality.

Any plan for accomplishing something includes four ‘D’s. - Dream, Decision, Determination and Discipline. Dreaming is the easiest part. As we dream, we think about where we would like to be.  We can dream about anything – becoming a world renowned person in any field of interest, the wealthiest of the world etc., etc. – if it ends there, there is no use.  We must start with a dream (if we do not dream, nothing can be accomplished!), but if it ends there, we are not going to achieve anything.

Once we have a dream, then we must make the decision to pursue the dream. The decision phase includes making plans about how to achieve the dream.  We must decide what steps to take to get our dream.  We must decide to start training - sign up for courses of our interest, look for hands on training etc.. Making these decisions moves us toward our dream. It is certainly harder than just dreaming, but is still not the hardest part. 

Determination to pursue the goal is the next step.  Discouraging words, sleepless nights, hurdles one after the other etc. are vital to the calling to be different. If you are not determined to overcome them, you cannot be an achiever.

Discipline is the hardest part. It follows the determination to fulfill our dream.  It is sticking with the course and finishing it.  It is the daily toil of study, practice, exercise and exertion.

There is no need to name anyone to prove the above - history is full with the names and even today the names are added to the list and in the future also the names shall be added.  Do you want your name to be in the list? Then, dare to be different. Remember that there is no short cut to create history. 

CHANGE: A FACT OF LIFE

We live in a world of change, yet we act on the basis of continuity.  Change is a fact of life.  But somehow we fear change because it seems to be unfamiliar and it disturbs us.  We ignore it, we avoid it, and often we try to resist it.  Continuity, on the other hand, is familiar, it provides safety and security.  Thus, when we plan for the future, we prefer to assume present conditions will continue, but they rarely do.  Because of this we experience unnecessary losses and miss unseen opportunities.  If we could learn to anticipate change and be prepared for it, we could make it work for us and not against us.  There is a very natural human desire that things should always remain unchanged, but to succumb to this is death. Alvin Toffler in “Future Shock” warned that the future would shock us.  In order to avoid that shock we must learn to master change.  The new approach is to recognize that change is natural and to be expected and that continuity is unnatural and to be suspected.

Our relationships change as we move to new places, experience illness, and ultimately face death.  A friend of mine sent a beautiful anecdote about life.

Life: a journey on a train 

Life is like a journey on a train... with its stations... with changes of routes... and with accidents!  At birth, we boarded the train and met our parents. We believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station, our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.

As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant: our siblings, friends, children, and may be the love of our life.  Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.  Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize that they vacated their seats!

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all the passengers...requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.  So, we must live in the best way - love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.  It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty -- we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

Yes, change is the one certainty in our world. Henry Lyte's melancholy line in his hymn "Abide With Me" is true: "Change and decay in all around I see." But the hymn immediately adds, "O Thou who changest not, abide with me!"

Let us thank God (He is our firm foundation, who can give us confidence and security in this changing world) for the privilege of being part of the journey and have a joyful journey in the train of life!  To face life's changes, look to the unchanging God.

I thank you for being one of the passengers 

who is a source of strength and comfort 

for me on this train!

HOME: A HEAVEN AWAY FROM HEAVEN

God in His/Her design wanted human beings to enjoy the heaven on this earth. It is the individuals who care for each other and share the experiences together that form a home. It is not the uniformity of ideas and ideals but the harmony of the members of the family that create a home.  You must have heard that earlier we had smaller houses and larger families, but now we have bigger houses and smaller families. It is a fact that there was a time that each member of the family felt obligated to the others in the family – it was not out of an attitude of duty, but out of love and concern.  The human beings, because of their sinful nature and individualistic attitudes, many a times move away from the design of God and make it a hell. The main reason for this is that we forget the basic principles of making a home.  We are living in a culture where money, power, position, beauty etc. are considered as priorities; whereas the mystery of a blessed marriage lies in mutual understanding, mutual appreciation and mutual acceptance between the members of the family.

Lack of acceptance of the other as other is the basic reason for breaking of marriages. We cannot expect wonders overnight where the bride and groom weld together – wedding is a welding of two individuals!  When two individuals are united in marriage and eagerly enter into married life, each partner has his or her own predispositions. It must have been created in their minds because of their past experiences – it must have come because of what they have seen, heard and read – may be from their own families, friends and books/articles.  Their character and attitude towards marriage is formed out of these. Both the partners have their own biases because of this.  An unlearning and then a new learning is what are needed to succeed in marriage.  A partner may be accustomed to getting up early in the morning whereas the other may be used to getting up at 8 am or even later; one may catch a head ache when he/she gets up early because of the habit of getting up late; one may prefer bed coffee and the other tea; one may have grown in families where the father controls whereas the other in family where the mother runs the home affairs. In order to have a blessed home set, mutual understanding is needed. Patience is part of the game of marriage and not blames game.  To re-word the title of a book by James Dobbson – Parenting is not for Cowards – I would say, marriage is not cowards.

For mutual acceptance, mutual appreciation is a must. How can we appreciate the other?  There is only one means for that - mutually understand. In order to mutually understand, a process of mutual exploration is needed.  The partners have to sit together and ask each other why they are doing what they are doing; is their room for change and how etc.. This shall take away the tendency to blame the other for the difference the partner sees in the other.  I have read somewhere an incident that took place in a train that started from a North Indian city.  As the evening set in, the people in a bogie were getting ready to sleep.  But their sleep was disturbed by a child who was crying loud.  The people in the bogie started grumbling, but the cry was becoming louder and louder as the time went by.  Grumbling gave way to cursing, screaming and shouting.  The father with whom the child was finally spoke with a sob that he wanted to control the child’s cry but could not.  He added that he was taking the child to Kerala to leave the child with his parents because his wife (the child’s mother) passed away and he cannot keep the child at his place of work. It is said the cursing and fuming stopped; a nursing mother took the child, breast-fed her and made her quiet.  After that the child was taken care of by everyone in the bogie and she became a pet of all.  As a pastor I have noticed that the unwillingness to explore each other and thereby understand each other and accept each other that damages the relationship. The ego, instead of self esteem plays the villain of the game of family life.

If the husband and wife can accept each other, the foundation of heaven on earth is put.  Then it is easy to build on it when the children arrive and it shall turn to be a heaven away from heaven.

BE JOYOUS & NOT HAPPY

Back to the blog after a long interval! A few have called me to ask what is happening to the blog.  I was waiting for an internet connection and finally I have got one! It is encouraging to get the feedback. Thanks to the friends who made inquiries.  

We live in a world where everyone looks for happiness and not joy. You may be wondering what the difference between happiness and joy is. Joy and happiness are both emotions where a person has feelings of contentment or satisfaction. But both these feelings differ from each other based on the reasons causing the feeling and the nature of the feeling.  J.D. Salinger, the author of Catcher in the Rye, once wrote, "The fact is always obvious much too late but the most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy is a liquid."  I came across a comparison chart which distinguishes 'happiness' from 'joy'.    

	Happiness	Joy
Meaning	Happiness is an emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense pleasure.	Joy is a stronger, less common feeling than happiness. Witnessing or achieving selflessness to the point of personal sacrifice frequently triggers this emotion. Being connected to God or to others in a great cause and synergistic result.
Causes	earthly experiences, material objects	Spiritual experiences, caring for others, gratitude, thankfulness
Emotion	outward expression of elation	inward peace and contentment
Time frame	temporary, based on outward circumstances	lasting, based on inward circumstances
Example	In the midst of life's ups and downs happiness is still present.	Serving others, sometimes through sacrifice with no possible personal gain. Witnessing justice for the less fortunate. Experiencing God's mercy and grace and feeling His love. All can result in joy.
Analogy	Happiness is a state. Think of it as a 100 story building and each level corresponds to a happiness value. And that happiness will persist for quite a long time	Joy is that sudden burst of happiness. Joy is like the elevator in that building that takes you up to higher levels of happiness only for a small amount of time and back.
Life	Happiness is a byproduct of a moral lifestyle.	Joy can be experienced from any good activity, food or company.

Dr. Stanley Jones had once given a beautiful definition for ‘joy’ – Jesus first, others second and you the last.  Be people of ‘joy’ and not ‘happiness’.

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE

PEOPLE AROUND - A MIRROR TO ONESELF

Many a times we grumble and complaint that no one loves us, no one gives consideration to us and no one cares for us. Have we ever thought that the people around us are a reflection of us?  When you complain that you never get a visitor to your home or no one comes to visit you in hospital, have you asked yourself whether you have visited any home, or hospital.  Have we ever realized that depending on our face’s expression, those who come across respond?  To know whether you have a happy face, look at the face of the other person that comes opposite of you.  If he/she smiles, that means you have a smiling face. If, still with your smiling face, some one looks grouchy or melancholic remember that the one who comes opposite of you must either be preoccupied with something in his/her mind and have not noticed you or he/she is mentally sick. He/she needs your compassionate care.  Smile when you see another person coming near you - give this a try - you will see the difference.  I also have noticed that once we smile at someone, we ourselves receive a positive energy and it lingers in us for a few more seconds; if not a few minutes.  It becomes a habit eventually and it shall transform your character.

Once there was a mad woman who believed that her body was composed of celestial matter and not of gross earthly stuff.  She often used to say that in beauty and perfection her body had no equal on earth.  One day they brought her a full-length mirror and she saw her own reflection.  She was so enraged that she threw a chair at the mirror, breaking it into a thousand pieces.  Then she heaved a great sigh of relief.  When they asked her why she had broken the mirror, she replied that she had done so because the mirror wanted to spoil her beauty by trying to transform her heavenly body into an earthly one.

      Family and friends are mirrors that reflect your real self.  Breaking the mirror is stupid, and so is renouncing the world.  You have to transform yourself, not the mirror.  And this transformation can happen where you are right now.  Revolution begins at the centre.  Trying to start it on the periphery is a sheer waste of time.  You have to start with yourself.  Your family and friends are not standing on your way.  If anyone is standing on your way, it is you. 

DON’T QUIT BUT CONQUER

When the untoward and unexpected things happen in our lives, the tendency is to succumb to it and quit. Quitters can never win and winners shall never quit.  The circumstances that tempt us to quit can be made a means to gain resistance power to go forward in life.  It can be made an opportunity to gain stamina to conquer.  Always remember that the clouds come as a flash and goes off whereas the sun remains and it shall re-appear after a few minutes.  Patience is what is needed always. 

Following is a beautiful poem for you to ponder and be encouraged.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 

As every one of us sometimes learns, 

And many a failure turns about, 

When he might have won had he stuck it out; 

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow– 

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than 

It seems to a faint and faltering man, 

Often the struggler has given up, 

When he might have captured the victor’s cup, 

And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out– 

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 

And you never can tell how close you are, 

It may be near when it seems so far, 

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit– 

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

                                                                                            (Author unknown)

You can communicate your opinions with me via email: gvkallumpuram@gmail.com