WHATEVER YOU FEAR COMES TO YOU

I share here a story by Paulo Coelho titled “Discovering the Real Fear”

A Sultan decided to make a voyage with some of his best courtiers. They embarked at the port of Dubai and set out across the open seas.

As the ship sailed away from the land, one of his subjects, who had never seen the sea and had spent much of his life in the mountains, had a panic attack.

Everyone tried to calm him down, saying that the journey really wasn’t all that dangerous, but although their words reached his ears, they did not touch his heart.

The Sultan was ready to turn the ship around and head back to port, when one of his ministers, known for his wisdom, came over to him and said, “Your Highness, with your permission, I will try to calm him down.”

The wise man ordered that the man be thrown into the sea. A group of crew members were pleased that the nightmare was about to end, dragged the struggling man up from the hold and hurled him into the ocean.

The courtier began to thrash about; he went under, swallowed salt water, came back up, shouted louder still, went down again, and again struggled to the surface.

At this point, the minister ordered that he be brought back on board the ship.

From that moment on, no one heard the slightest word of complaint from the man, who spent the rest of the voyage in silence.

Shortly before returning to port, the Sultan asked the minister:
“How did you know that you could calm the poor man down by throwing him into the sea?”

“Because of my own marriage,” replied the minister. “I was terrified of losing my wife, and I was so jealous that, like this man, I spent all my time weeping and wailing. One day, unable to stand it any longer, she left me, and I realized how awful life would be without her.

“She only came back when I promised that I would never again torture her with my fears. In the same way, this man had never tasted salt water and had never understood the agony of a man about to drown. Once he had known that experience, he understood perfectly how marvelous it is to feel the deck of a ship beneath one’s feet.”

“It is written in the Bible: “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” (Book of Job 3:25).  Some people are only capable of valuing what they have once they have experienced its loss.

STOP BEING A GLASS; BECOME A LAKE

An unhappy young man once came to an old master and told he had a very troubled life and asked for a solution.

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man “You put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.”

The young man did as was instructed. “How does it taste?”  the Master asked.

“Terrible,” the young man said and spat it out.

The Master laughed quietly and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake; then the young man swirled a handful of salt into the lake.

The old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As he drank it from the river, the Master asked, “How does it taste?”

“Good!” remarked the man.

“Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master.

“No,”  said the young man.

The Master sat beside this troubled young man and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

FOLLOW THE ‘SWSWSWSW’ PRINCIPLE!

A young boy and his father, while walking through the forest path saw a large tree branch on their path. 

The boy asked his father, “Dad, do you think I can move this branch, if I try?

His father said, “You can, if you use all the available strength” 

The boy tried his best to push the branch, but he could not because it was too big for his strength. 

He said with disappointment, “You were wrong, Dad. I am not strong enough to do it!”

“Why don’t you try again using all the available strength,” replied his father.

Being provoked, the boy again tried hard to push the branch. He struggled but it did not move.

“Dad, I cannot do it!” said the boy.

Finally his father said, “Son, I advised you to use all the available strength. You didn’t.”

“Why are you saying this? You have seen me using all my strength to move the branch, but I failed.”

“You didn’t see and hence didn’t use the available strength. I was available to help you and did not ask for my help.”

How true is it about our lives! Have we used all the available source of strength in achieving our tasks? Have we recognized and used all the strength and support of those who love us in the building up of our lives?

Always remember that we can achieve much more if we see and use the resources around us. Our real strength lies not in our independent actions but interdependent actions.

No individual person has all the strength, the resource and the stamina to blossom their vision by themselves. It requires the inspired collaboration of many like-hearted beings. Asking for help and support when we need it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wisdom.

When we are denied help by someone, it doesn’t mean the help is exhausted. It rather means, we have to seek the help of the next available.   

Follow the SWSWSWSW principle in your lives always.  
(Some will, some won’t, so what, someone’s waiting!)

BELIEVE IN THE POTENTIAL

Mrs. Thompson, an elementary teacher stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of School. She told the children ‘a lie’. She looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard who could not get along with the other children, whose clothes were messy and who always failed in the exams.  It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big F at the top of his papers.

Mrs. Thompson had to review each child’s past records. Hence she went through the record of Teddy Stoddard. It had indeed shocked her! 

Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners…he is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

Mrs. Thompson felt ashamed about underestimating Todd. When Christmas came, all the students in her class brought her gifts wrapped in bright papers and beautiful ribbons. But Todd’s present was wrapped in an ordinary brown grocery bag. When she opened all the gifts, she found that Todd’s present was a bracelet with some of the stones missing and a perfume bottle with half of it empty. The other students in the class began to mockingly laugh, but she stifled them and  exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.”

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.  Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.

As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive.  The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her ‘lie’ that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her ‘pets’.

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.”

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

HUMILITAS: A LOST KEY TO LIFE, LOVE AND LEADERSHIP

John Dickson’s book Humilitas: A Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership carries the following story: 

Three young men hopped on a bus in Detroit in the 1930s and tried to pick a fight with a lone man sitting at the back of the vehicle. They insulted him. He didn't respond. They turned up the heat of the insults. He was very composed throughout and did not react. Eventually, the stranger stood up to alight the bus.

He was bigger than they had estimated from his seated position — much bigger. He reached into his pocket, handed them his business card and walked off the bus and then on his way. As the bus drove on the young men gathered around the card to read the words: Joe Louis. They had just tried to pick a fight with the heavyweight boxing champion of the world from 1937 to 1949, the number one boxer of all time, according to the International Boxing Research Organization (second on the list is Muhammad Ali)!

Here is a man of immense power and skill, capable of defending his honor with a single, devastating blow. Yet, he chooses to forgo his status and hold his power for others — in this case, for some very fortunate young men.

Doesn’t this story resonate the story of Jesus Christ’s passion and death on the cross? As St. Paul has exhorted the Philippians to  have the mind of Jesus and marvelously stated that he “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,  but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Phil. 2: 5-8)

An author has put the following eight surprising ideas about humility. It is good to contemplate these during this year’s Passion Week.

1. Humility presupposes your dignity... which is why it should not be confused with having low self-esteem or being a doormat for others.

2. It is impossible to be humble... without a healthy sense of your own worth and abilities.

3. Healthy self-worth is rooted far more in service than achievement, far more in giving than taking.

4. Humility is willing. It is a choice. Otherwise, it is humiliation. 

5. Humility is social. It is not a private act of self-deprecation — banishing proud thoughts, refusing to talk about your achievements and so on... Humility is about the redirecting of your powers [physical, intellectual, financial or structural] for the sake of others.

6. Humility, rightly understood, has often marked the most influential and inspiring people in history. [Likewise,] some of the most influential people in our daily lives exert their influence with humility.

7. Humility is not an ornament to be worn; it is an ideal that will transform.

8. Humility is more about how I treat others than how I think about myself. 

SPIRAL EFFECT OF GOOD DEED!

During the time of Umar Ibn Al Khattab, two men brought in a young boy into his court house.   

He asked, “What is going on? Why are you dragging him into the court house?”

They said, “This boy had killed our father!”

“Did you really kill their father?” the Khalifa asked the boy.

“My camel used to tread on their property. So one day their father took a rock, hit the camel in the eye, and I saw the camel hurt. I became enraged. So I took a rock and threw at that man. It hit him on his head and he died,” replied the boy.

Then the Khalifa turned to the two sons and asked, “Will you forgive this young boy for this accident?”

They said, “No” and they asked for retribution.

The Khalifa asked the young boy, “Do you have any last wish; any last request?”  

The boy said, "Yes. My father passed away and I have a younger brother. My father left with me some money for my brother. I would like three days to retrieve this wealth from a hidden place so that I could make sure my brother gets it when I die. So also, I wish to bid farewell to my wife and child.”

The judge did not believe this story. Yet, he agreed that if anyone in Medina is ready to stand as a guarantor for him, it shall be permitted. But none was willing to be a guarantor for the young man.

At that time Abu Dharr al-Ghifari, a noble person in Medina, a disciple of Prophet Muhammad came up. The judge said, “Now understand, to be a guarantor means, if the boy does not come back, your head will be chopped off!”   

Abu Dharr persisted to that he shall stand for the boy.

Three days went by. Towards the close of the third day, since the boy did not turn up, Abu Dharr al-Ghifari was taken to the public ground for beheading. At that time, the boy who was sentenced to  death rushed in.  

Umar asked the boy. "Oh boy, why did you come back?  I did not send a spy after you. What made you come back?"

He said "I wished that just to save myself from death, I should not betray a person who trusted me.” 

Umar then turned to Abu Dharr and asked "Oh Abu Dharr what made you to be the guarantor of this boy?"  

He replied.  "I wished that no human being should disbelieve another as long as I lived!”  

While seeing all these, the sons of the person who was murdered said that they are willing to forgive the young man because, “We wish that as long as we lived, there should not be a state in which the people do not forgive each other.”

BITE ONLY WHAT YOU CAN CHEW

A magazine carried the following story:

A man, while walking through the bank of a lake saw a ball floating in an unusual way. He decided to investigate...

He found out that the ball was a child's basketball, and the reason it was floating in an unusual way is it was stuck in the mouth of a flathead catfish!

The fish had obviously tried to swallow the ball, but it got stuck. When it tried to dive beneath the surface, the buoyancy of the basketball would bring it back up again. It had literally bitten off more than it could it chew. 

The man captured the exhausted fish, deflated the ball with a knife, and removed it from the fish's mouth. Then he released the catfish back into the lake. 

Is this not at illustration of modern humans who try to chew more than they can and end up in this predicament? Is not the consumer culture forcing us to do it? 

We end up biting off more than we can chew, and complicate our own lives.