YOU CAN BE A SAINT

St. Francis of Assisi was once on a pilgrimage with his disciple Leo.  They were on their way to San Marino and were caught in a thunderstorm on the way.  By nightfall they were totally drenched and stained with mud.  Not having eaten all day and having walked many miles, they were overcome with fatigue.  The village was still far off and they could not possibly reach it before midnight.  Francis suddenly asked, "Leo, who can be called a real saint?"  "Not even the man who can restore sight to the blind, heal the sick and awaken the dead is a real saint," Francis replied himself.   For a while there was silence and then Francis said, "Leo, not even the man who can understand the language of the animals, birds, trees, stones, and pebbles is a real saint.  And the man who has acquired the knowledge of the universe is not a true saint either."  Again there was a brief silence.  They plodded onward in the darkness.  The wind blew and the rain came down in torrents, but by now the lights of San Marino were visible.  Francis continued, "And the man who has renounced all his possessions is not a real saint either."   Now Leo could not remain still any longer.  He asked, "Then who is the real saint?" Francis replied, "Look.  We are almost at San Marino.  We will knock at the outer door of the inn and the watchman will ask "Who is there?"  We will reply, "Your own countrymen, two ascetics."  If he says, "Beggars! Gypsies! Parasites!  There is no place for you here!" and refuses to open the door; if we knock again and he comes out and beats us with his stick saying, "Don't pester us, you rascals!" - then if we spent the night in the open after this and are not upset; if everything inside is peaceful and empty; if we see God in that watchman, that is real saintliness."  

Simplicity, tranquility and control of the self in all circumstances is what constitutes saintliness. Then you may ask, “Is it possible to be so?” The answer is, “Yes, if you are truly saintly!”  I am reminded of the sayings of Jesus (though in a different context) when he was asked, “Who then can be saved?”  Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God” (Luke 18: 26-27). May I paraphrase it: “Then who can be a saint?” “What is impossible with human beings is possible with God’s help.” "Aim as high as the sky; then only you can reach at least the tree top"

PEOPLE AROUND - A MIRROR OF OURSELVES

A psychologist was doing research on love and hate. He asked some fifteen university students to write down, within a minute, the names of classmates they considered worth hating.  One couldn’t write anything down; others jotted down a few names; one   listed fourteen. A very surprising truth was shown by this experiment. The ones who mentioned the most names also proved to be those most disliked by their schoolfellows - but the most wonderful and meaningful thing was that the name of the student who couldn't write any was not included in anyone else's list at all.  

The people we meet and acquaint with often prove to be mirrors.  We have to accept the fact that we see our reflection in others.   If we have hatred in us, we will find others hateful and if we have love in us, we will find others loving.  Our hatred itself creates hatred in the person whom we associate with and the vice versa.  When the farmers from Central Travancore (villages in the mid-region of Kerala) were migrating to Malabar (villages of northern region of Kerala) a farmer went to a local person and asked, “I am coming from Central Travancore looking for a place to settle.  How are the people here?”  To this the local person asked, “How were the people in your neighborhood?” and the reply was, “They were very bad, always quarrelling with us and giving us headaches.  That is the main reason why we have decided to move from that place.” Then the other replied, “People here are much worse.  Moreover, there are wild animals also.”  He went off.  After a few days, another person from Central Travancore came and asked the same person the same question and the first person’s response was the same. Then the one who came told, “The neighborhood was very good and were very kind.  But because of financial liabilities, we had to sell our small parcel of land with the hope that we shall get enough land here to cultivate and have a living.” The reply was, “Here also the people are very good natured and helpful.  I shall come with you to find a parcel of land.  May God bless you!” 

As read somewhere, “There are only two ways to escape the anguish of being one-eyed - you cure the other eye or you convince yourself everyone else is blind.  Pretending others have lost their sight is much easier.   You don't have to do anything.  Imagination is enough.”    

Learn to use the relationships to look for our true self – use them as a mirror.  We constantly meet ourselves in others. When our heart is full of love we will see love in everyone else.  And ultimately this experience will bring us face to face with God.    What appears outside is not reality; it is the reflection of what is inside us.   Please remember: I am my own enemy and I am my own friend.   

WHAT CONTROLS YOU?

Three factors that control our personality are our gene, circumstances and willpower. 

We have no control over our gene.  Whatever we have inherited from our father and mother through their gene cannot be changed by natural means (I am not sure whether it can be doctored – if someone who reads this know something, please enlighten me and the other readers who happen to see this post). It is inherited and the traits of the ancestors are naturally transferred – in some cases the paternal gene, in some other cases the maternal gene, or, in still other cases it may be a mix of both in control of our lives.  The problem is that we become a slave to the influences of the gene.

To a certain extent, we do not have control over our circumstances as well, especially during our childhood days.  Many a times it is given and we grow in it. It plays a major role on the development of our personality. We tend to blame our circumstances for the kind of personality we are; but the fact is that many a times we succumb to our conditioning. 

We know the dictum, “if there is a will, there is a way”.  To add to this is the saying, “if there is no way, make a way”.  Hence the foremost in the development of our personality is our own wish that gives us the willpower that works for the better – in fact the best we can achieve. Dale Carnegie in his training program gives 7 secrets of personal development.  They are:  

1.     Only you can take charge of your personal development.

2.   Development is a personal process.

3.   Success often occurs in places where you least expect it.

4.   Focus on the little things around you, not just the bigger picture.

5.    Improving your listening skills will make you a better communicator.

6.   Never stop learning new skills and practicing basic one.

7.    Success starts with failure and is a “trial and error” process.

Do not be a slave to both gene and circumstances, but take the gene to your advantage the maximum possible, make the circumstances to your best use possible (not in the selfish and ulterior sense) and look for opportunities to develop your personality the best way possible. Be reminded often that “if there is a will, there is a way” and if there is no way, be determined to make a way – so resolute that you leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.  As Martin Luther King Jr. has said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”

  

BE SLOW TO ANGER

Impulsive people are on the increase these days. Pressures of work and life along with ego tempt them to react in brash ways. They, without thinking of the consequences, react instead of responding to the situations that come across.  We are to guard ourselves not to be impulsive in our words and deeds so that we regret about it once it is said and done. As the Bible tells; Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (James 1:19-21).

While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 year old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child’s fingers were to be amputated due to multiple fractures which were beyond saving. When the child saw his father; with painful eyes he asked, “Dad when will my fingers grow back?” The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide…. If only he had anticipated the result of his rash action…! Patience and forgiving mind would have impelled him to pardon his child and it would have saved his own son’s fingers. I know a father who had pulled his son from the bed so forcefully that the head hit the floor and the son had brain damage. As a result the child is epileptic.  The father lives with guilt that haunts him always!

Anger and Love are two emotions that have no limits. We are to learn to choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.  Things are to be used and people are to be loved. But the problem in today's world is that, people are used and things are loved.  

As it is rightly said, “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”