YOUR LIFE HAS A PURPOSE

As we are on the threshold of a New Year, I take this opportunity to wish all my readers a purposeful and impactful year!

Whatever that was in the year 2014 (good or terrible), please bear in mind that it had a purpose.  If we try to evaluate our life objectively (without any sentiments attached), we will find that whatever that had happened had a purpose. There is some good hidden even in the happenings that were very bad. (As children, we all had gone through the disciplining of parents. At that time, it was painful, frustrating and discouraging.  But, that disciplining has made us what we are now.  We do this to our children as well). Then why can’t we accept the Creator’s purpose in us? Our life has a purpose.

Our life can be compared to a book to be written – our whole life a full book, each year a chapter and each day a page. We can write the full pages or leave blank many of the pages. If we have a purposeful living, we cannot but write something on each page. We are to give account to the Publisher who has given us all the facilities and entrusted us to write the story. Our story is important.

If we want to take along our story, we are to foresee and dream about our life’s purpose. If there is no vision, we cannot achieve anything.  Our dreams count.

We should always remember that we are ‘born to win’. We have the potential to be a winner; but many a times we act as if we are not – we condition ourselves to be losers.  We are born to make an impact.

WHAT IS CHRISTMAS FOR YOU: A HOLIDAY OR A HOLY DAY?

Chrsitmas is celebrated universally: the celebration is such that regardless of religious affinity most of the people join in the celebrations. If the Christmas celebrations started the previous week of the Christmas day (this is what I remember: I assume that the celebration of Christmas  may have been just for a day among the previous generations!) - starting with carol rounds, sending greeting cards, hanging a Christmas star etc. and ending with  a carol service on the previous day of Christmas. Now the celebrations of Christmas starts as the page of the calender turns to Decemeber (it is jokingly said that the stars first appear in front of the Liquar Shops declaring the coming of Christmas. What an irony!). Christmas stars of various kinds and illuminations are presented with all kinds of pomp. In the Western countries, exchange of gifts is very common. We are so much involved in the celebrations of Christmas that we forget the context, meaning and content of Christmas. (I assume that I do not have to narrate to the readers what is the context, meaning and content of Christmas).

It is in this backdrop of realities I am prompted to ask my readers: What is Christmas for you: A holiday or a holy day? Though the words are pronounced almost the same manner, we know it has a world of difference in the meaning and content.  Let us try to recapture the true context, meaning and content of Christmas. 

I take this opportunity to wish my readers a meaningful Christmas recapturing the context!  Let our celebrations focus on the content of Christmas.  Let us be a step forward in becoming more humane, taking the model of Jesus Christ who showed us what a human being should be, as we celebrate Christmas this year.

EVALUATE YOURSELF

You may have heard the story of a little boy who went into a store to phone some one.  He dialed the number and started the conversation. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy:  Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): I already have someone to cut my lawn.

Boy: Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.

Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance): I'll even sweep your curb and your side-walk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida.

Woman: No, thank you. He is giving his best for me. There is no need of a change now.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.

Boy: No thanks.

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.

Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady  I was talking to!  

How many of us can dare to do it? How many of us introspect about our faithfulness and contribution to the responsibilities given to us?  Isn't it true that many of us are unwilling to listen to others?

You must have heard about some kings who went around their kingdom trying to understand the opinion of the people about their rule.  History tells they could contribute better for their kingdom.  At the same time there were kings who were interested in the cacophony of the 'chamchaas'  (boasters). They were least bothered about the welfare of their people.

Are we among the many who are unwilling to listen to others' advice? We have to spare time and mechanisms for self-evaluation.  

HOW ARE WE TRAVELLING?

Worry, anxiety, depression etc. are the marks of the present day world. It is a paradox to note that the above emotions attack the affluent than the economically weak people. They are so much worried and preoccupied  to carry the load of their achievements in the form of wealth and possessions that they forget to live in full.  Their thoughts always are on how to 'maintain' and 'increase' what they have. The world tends to call them achievers and enterprising persons.  The burden on them is such that they cannot sleep well and have a calm life. They are not willing to let go.  It is thoughtful to note that the Indian philosophy divides the life cycle into 4 ashrams (the human life was divided into four periods. The goal of each period was the ideal fulfillment of each of the four consecutive stages of life.) :  Brahmacharya (student life), Grihastha  (household life), Vanaprastha (retired life) and Sannyasa (renounced life). Earlier days, once a person is retired, he/she was having a leisurely life.  Now they search for new avenues to 'get engaged'.  Executives go for consultancies, Bank employees go for private banking, teachers go for teaching in private Schools and Colleges... the list goes on.  I know a person who is above eighty five years, known as enterprising,  still working on 'new projects'; but the worst thing is that his sons are least interested to take up any of his projects (they are busy in foreign countries trying to build 'empires' there!)  

Here is a thoughtful anecdote: A wealthy man was sitting in his balcony  when a little ant caught his eye. It was carrying a big leaf several times more than its size. The man watched it for more than an hour. He saw that the ant faced many impediments during its journey, paused, took a diversion and then continued towards destination.

At one point the tiny creature came across a crack in the floor. It paused for a little while, analyzed and then laid the huge leaf over the crack, walked over the leaf, picked the leaf on the other side then continued its journey.

The man was captivated by the cleverness of the ant, one of God’s tiniest creatures. The incident left the man in awe and forced him to contemplate over the miracle of Creation. It showed the greatness of the Creator. In front of his eyes there was this tiny creature of God, lacking in size yet equipped with a brain to analyze, contemplate, reason, explore, discover and overcome. Along with all these capabilities, the man also noticed that this tiny creature shared some human shortcomings.

The man saw about an hour later the creature had reached its destination – a tiny hole in the floor which was entrance to its underground dwelling. And it was at this point that the ant’s shortcoming that it shared with the man was revealed. How could the ant carry into the tiny hole the large leaf that it had managed to carefully bring to the destination? It simply couldn't!

So the tiny creature, after all the painstaking and hard work and exercising great skills, overcoming all the difficulties along the way, just left behind the large leaf and went home empty-handed.

The ant had not thought about the end before it began its challenging journey and in the end the large leaf was nothing more than a burden to it. The creature had no option, but to leave it behind to reach its destination. The man learned a great lesson that day.

There is a famous malayalam song "Samayamaam radhathil njaan" (For the non-malayaali readers: I travel in the chariot of time) in which a stanza is thus: 

  

   Bhaarangal koodunnathinu onnum venda yaathrayil

     Alpamappam vishapinnu, swalpam vellam daahikkil

(Do not carry unnecessary load which hinders your journey;  For hunger some food, for thirst a little water)

I am reminded of the writing in the train compartments in the earlier days: "Less luggage, more comfort".

Isn't that the truth about our lives?

We worry about our family, we worry about our job, we worry about how to earn more money, we worry about where we should live – 5 bedroom or 6 bedroom house, what kind of vehicle to buy – a Mercedes or BMW or a Porsche, what kind of dresses to wear, all sorts of things, only to abandon all these things when we reach our destination – The Grave. We don’t realize in our life’s journey that these are just burdens that we are carrying with utmost care and fear of losing them, only to find that at the end they are useless and we can’t take them with us.

QUO VADIS?  

(Quo vadis? is a Latin phrase meaning "Where are you going?" The modern usage of the phrase refers to a Christian tradition regarding Saint Peter. Wikipedia) 

You might have heard the expression: “The wise learns from someone else’s mistakes, the smart  learns from his/her own, and the stupid never learns even from his/her own mistakes.”  When we look around, we will see that many belong to the third category. There is a reason which prompted me to quote this - two deaths of cancer patients and three accidents that has taken the life of a nineteen year boy and injured four people within a week in a small town I live (How much more the occurrences in the big cities must be!).  The first two I referred were suffering of oral cancer; the cause of cancer being tobacco use. Many have advised them of the dangers of tobacco; but have fallen on deaf ears. They were so addicted to tobacco that they ignored it.  The accident that took away the life of the youngster was due to rash driving. The high power bikes are a temptation of the youths who love high speed. The other two accidents were due to drunken driving which has taken a few to the hospitals. The drunken drivers hit three or more vehicles in a row before they were stopped by the public.  By that time damage to persons and vehicles have happened.

We see and hear about the dangers of tobacco use.  We see the victims of cancer due to this. We see and hear about the consequences of drunken and rash driving; the Government machinery is trying to conscientize about the dangers of tobacco, liquor, addictive stuff, drunken as well as rash driving etc.  We may know so many people who have fallen prey to the above and other addictions that destroy their body. We may know their families and the innocent people becoming victims who go through hellish experiences because of these addictions. But how many learns from others’ mistakes? How many learn even after they go through the bitter experiences? 

Each one must ask the questions: Where am I going to? How do I spend my earnings and energy – do I spend it judiciously? Do I destroy myself for the sake of momentary thrill and pleasure? Do I take away the joy of the family because of my habits?

OVER- AMBITION TAKES AWAY THE CHARM OF LIFE

There is a by-story of pigs being possessed by the evil spirit in the man who was healed by Jesus. A small pig was running along and asked a ‘silly question’ to the older pig running with it: “Why are we running so fast?”  The answer was “I don’t know, but everyone is running so also us.” The next question was, “Where are we running to?” and the answer was, “you silly, don’t ask questions, just run along with others.” The end was drowning in the sea.  (If you are not familiar with the story, may I suggest you to read:        St. Matthew 8: 30-32)

             

We are so entangled in the rat-race of life that we are not permitted to ask the ‘why’ and ‘where’ and end up with the inevitable and ultimate fate of our race in life. As generations go by, the pressure on life is increasing.  I still remember my teacher saying in the High School class: “Student life is the best time for you to enjoy life. Once you reach the arena of life – from looking for a job to building your career, family etc. - you cannot escape the pressures of life”  I don’t think any teacher will say this even to a 3 year old in the Nursery Class. Words such as ‘learn’, ‘excel’, ‘compete’, ‘defeat the other’, ‘grab the opportunity ignoring the other’ etc. are pumped into the brain of the child. The child is expected to ‘learn’ and ‘only learn’.  

The whole society is injecting ambition in us. As someone has put it, “Ambition means a conflict, ambition means that whatsoever you are, you are wrong - you have to be somewhere else.  Wherever you are, you are wrong - you have to be somewhere else.  A constant madness to be somewhere else, to be somebody else, is what ambition is.”  Ambition in life has no limits and the end result is hypertension and depression which lead to physical and mental wreckage.  An over-ambitious person is always unhappy and he/she cannot enjoy life at all. An ambitious person always project into the future and always shall be anxious about the things that can come up in life. He/she can live in the present.  This is what Jesus reminds when he says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them…   See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?   So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  … Your heavenly Father knows that you need them. (St. Mtt. 6:25-32)  

There is a Mulla story: Mulla Nasrudin was walking with his two children when some one asked, "How old are they?"  He answered, "the Doctor is five and the lawyer is seven." Already the future of the children is fixed in the mind of the father.  The children have no choice. A community is meant to help discover the child's abilities and promote his/her blooming.  It will not only give them directions but give them all support to be themselves.  Only when this happen can we expect to have a healthy future for the community. 

A STORY WORTH SHARING

One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "no".  

Who paid for your school fees? 

"Parents ", he replied. 

"Where do they work?"

"They work as clothes cleaners.”

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

"Have you ever helped your parents wash the clothes?"

"Never, my parents always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my parents can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your parents’ hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt dejected. When he went back home, he asked his parents to let him clean their hands. His parents felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, they showed their hands to their son.

The youth cleaned their hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his parents’ hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in their hands. Some bruises were so painful that they winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees. The bruises in the hands were the price that the parents had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his parents’ hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for them.

That night, parents and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the Director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, when he asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my parents hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes. I now know what appreciation is. Without my parents, I would not be who I am today. By helping my parents, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop an "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?

You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch on a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow grey, same as the parent of that young person. The most important thing is your child learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.