YOUR EMOTIONS BOOMERANG; SO HANDLE WITH CARE

Emotions are frequent companions in our lives. They come and go, changing like the weather: sometimes sunny, other times rainy, sometimes stormy and thunderous, other times mild and pleasant.   All human emotions can be classified as happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and disgust. All other emotions are variants of these basic emotions.

We have to learn to control our emotions, especially those emotions that harm us, for; it boomerangs on us and destroys us. It has a lasting impact – not only on others but on us as well. Emotional outbursts hurt others and us – in fact more than it hurts others, it hurts us. Hence be careful with our emotions.

Upsetting emotions make us utter words that hurt others. It is better not to speak when we are upset. When we are not able to escape from using harsh words; try to use the least possible. We have to learn to control our tongue. That is why St. James in the Bible cautions us: “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James:3: 3-6).

May I repeat a story from an earlier post: While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 year old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child’s fingers were to be amputated due to multiple fractures which were beyond saving. When the child saw his father; with painful eyes he asked, “Dad when will my fingers grow back?” The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide…. If only he had anticipated the result of his rash action…! Patience and forgiving mind would have impelled him to pardon his child and it would have saved his own son’s fingers. I know a father who had pulled his son from the bed so forcefully that the head hit the floor and the son had brain damage. As a result the child is epileptic.  The father lives with guilt that haunts him always!

THE PURPOSE OF OUR CREATION

Following is a beautiful parable:

The Pencil Maker took the pencil with an eraser aside, just before putting it into the box.

“There are 6 things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and you will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in the Genuine User’s hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. That is why an eraser is fixed on the other end.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.”

“Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

"And Six: Try to make the least mistake possible, for, however you try, you will leave a mark on the paper"

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

This is a parable of our lives.

Always remember them and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God’s hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. That is why you are loaded with conscience.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.

Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

And Six: Be careful about your behavior. It shall have a permanent impact on others. However careful we are, we may hurt others by our actions and reactions. Try to make the least hurt possible. Try to make the least hurt possible because it shall leave a permanent scar on others’ minds.

Bear in mind that that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

PERCEPTION MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

It is not the possession, but the perception that makes the difference. Your perception about wealth, health and belongings depends on the way you look at things.

Following is a beautiful story:

One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family.

When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "Very good, Dad!" was the reply of the son.

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!" was the reply.

"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon."

When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.

His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"

(Author Unknown)

How true this is! It all depends on the way you look at things. From one perspective, you may have possessions and provisions for the future and you may look down upon others for their 'poverty'. But from the other perspective, you are on the verge of bankruptcy. Perhaps you need a change of perspective. 

 BE NOT A CONSUMER, BUT A CONTRIBUTOR IN LIFE

Maya Angelou, born on April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014), was an American author, poet, dancer, actress, and singer. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, and several books of poetry, and was credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years. She received dozens of awards and more than 50 honorary degrees.  Angelou is best known for her series of seven autobiographies, which focus on her childhood and early adult experiences.  The first, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969), tells of her life up to the age of 17 and brought her international recognition and acclaim. (Source: Wikipedia)

She was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And there on television, she said it was 'exciting.'

She said the following during the interview:

I've learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life’.

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw some things back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Life with a purpose and clear perspective makes a world of difference. You be a contributor and not a consumer in life.

SAY ‘NO’ TO HARTALS AND BANDHS

Though not directly fit to my blog’s purpose, I am prompted to write this post. Mr. Pannyan Ravindran, the Central Committee member of the CPI wrote in the Malayala Manaorama of April 28^th 2015 about the ‘disturbing’ experience he and the co-passengers of the train he planned to travel had – being held up due to the strike by the loco pilots. He writes that the strikes should not become ‘emotional’ (if there is no ‘emotional’ reason for any strike or hartal, will there be one?) Has he thought about thousands of passengers who alight on the days of hartal and strikes called by the trade unions and parties, about the people who plan various personal functions such as marriages, baptisms etc., the loss of businesses, thousands of laborers who lose a day’s wage? No one may have forgotten the incident of his travelling on a hartal day and his men manhandling a person who questions the integrity of him using a car on that day.

I alighted at Bangalore on a day of ‘hartal’ (18^th April, 2015) called for the dispute on sharing water of Cauvery river with Tamil Nadu which is one of greatest ‘emotional’ and vital issues as far the people of Karnataka are concerned.  I have seen all kinds of vehicles including taxis and auto rickshaws plying everywhere.  Those who called for the hartal while observing it did not disturb the freedom of others who wanted to travel. We have gone through another national hartal yesterday and from the visuals in the various channels, we see that Kerala came to a stand-still whereas; public transport system in other cities went as smooth as any other day!

If we look at the results of the recent hartals and strikes in Kerala that has made the whole society to a stand-still, we will see that it has not changed an iota of the things that they called the hartals for. I think the name of Kerala should be changed to ‘Hartalistan’ because coconut has given way to hartals.  

I feel it is high time that the people who are suffering the ill effects of hartals should declare a hartal against all the leaders of political parties and unions. No leader of political parties and trade unions, including ministers, regional and local ‘leaders’ should be permitted to go out of their houses for 24 hours and let them ‘taste’ what hartal is. I know it is only a wishful thinking, but if it goes this way, we may see it the near future.

On this May Day, I wish that the world be pervaded by justice and peace; every laborer have dignity of life and all the ‘haves’ have concern for the ‘have-nots’!

THE GOOD DEED RETURNS THOUSAND-FOLD

I share a beautiful story for us to ponder and change our attitudes and actions! Who knows when and where the deeds – good or bad – return?

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

"Leave me alone," he growled... To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president.. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked.

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!"

Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.

"Let me go, officer. I didn't d o anything."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked."What is all this, is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See  lady, I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."  The woman smiled again, "I thought that might make a difference."

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then,  perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away... "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent... Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently.

"Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry..

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment.. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right..."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered..." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office."

She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he asked.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for your help officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you.  I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget, and thank you for the coffee."

You sow a good deed and you shall reap it thousand-fold - when and where is unknown.  So also, you sow a bad deed and you shall reap it thousand-fold - again, when and where is unknown.  Do good always!

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE OTHERS

It is a human tendency to estimate others by their looks. As people are high in the social, educational or political ladder, this tendency increases – may be due to positional arrogance, lack of time to attend to others or prejudice created by the sight of the other.  Many a times it can be misleading and abusive. 

There is a famous story about a couple who, dressed in ordinary, faded dress, went to see the president of Harvard University without prior appointment (I have not checked the authenticity of the story).  

When the couple approached the secretary of the president, she could very well ‘guess’ from their outside appearance that they are just ordinary people and there can be no business for them to do in this prestigious, classy university.  "We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.  They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him.  Without any other choice, the president had to finally yield to their persistence.

The lady told him that they wanted to establish a memorial to their son who had studied in Harvard for one year and died of an accident.  The president underestimated them and said,  "Madam, we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery". "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."  The president who could not believe what they said then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.

Then the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded.  The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them,” says Malcom Forbes. It is not the outside that matters; hence be cautious in judging others with your prejudices.