COST OF AN INSIGNIFICANT NEGLIGENCE!

Manohar Parrikar, the present Union Defense Minister narrates the following story about watermelons from his native village:

"I am from the village of Parra in Goa, hence we are called Parrikars. My village is famous for its watermelons.

When I was a child, the farmers would organize a watermelon-eating contest at the end of the harvest season in May. All the kids would be invited to eat as many watermelons as they wanted.

Years later, I went to IIT Mumbai to study engineering. I went back to my village after six and a half years. I went to the market looking for watermelons. They were all gone. The ones that were there were so small.

I went to see the farmer who hosted the watermelon-eating contest. His son had taken over. He would host the contest but there was a difference.

When the older farmer gave us watermelons to eat he would ask us to spit out the seeds into a bowl. We were told not to bite into the seeds. He was collecting the seeds for his next crop. We were unpaid child laborers, actually!  

He kept his best watermelons for the contest and he got the best seeds which would yield even bigger watermelons the next year. His son, when he took over, realized that the larger watermelons would fetch more money in the market so he sold the larger ones and kept the smaller ones for the contest.

The next year, the watermelons were smaller, the year later even small. In watermelons, the generation is one year. In seven years, Parra's best watermelons were finished.

In humans, generations change after 25 years. It will take us 200 years to figure what we were doing wrong while educating our children."

If so, how responsible we should be in molding the younger generation? Remember that a tiny negligence and carelessness shall cost much!

DO YOU SHOUT TO BE HEARD?

A guru was walking along with his disciples. They came near a river and decided to take bath in the river. As they were approaching the bank of the river, they heard someone shouting each other in anger.

He turned to his disciples and asked, “Why do people shout each other when in anger?” One of the disciples, after a few moments of silence said, “When we get irritated and lose our cool, we shout!”

“Why should we shout when the other one is just next to you? You can hear him and he can hear you as well even if you speak in the low voice!” commented the guru. Other disciples gave some other answers, but none was satisfactory.

The saint explained, “When two people are angry and shout each other, their heart is away. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to be heard. The angrier they are, the more distant they are and hence louder their voice shall be to cover that long distance.”

He further said, “What happens when two people fall in love? Do they shout to be heard?” “No, in fact, they speak softly,” replied the disciples.

“Why do they speak so softly? … because their hearts are very close … close enough that distance is non-existent or very short. As their love becomes more intimate, they will only whisper. Finally, they even do not whisper, they only look at each other’s eyes and communicate.”

 “When you argue, do not let your hearts get distant so that you have to shout to be heard.”

Can’t we apply this to the communication with God as well? Why the devotees should shout and show all kinds of gestures when they pray? Is it to attract the attention of God Almighty who for them is far away? Be reminded of the Psalmist who says, “Be still, and know that I am God!” (Psalms 46:10). It is the expression of deeper devotion!

BE WISE TO DISCERN WHEN TO WORK AND WHEN TO REST

George was a driver and he spent so much time at his work, that he could hardly have a meal together with his wife and three children. In the evenings he attended classes, seeking to get knowledge, that one day would help him to find a better paying job.

George‘s family often complained that he is not spending enough time with them, but his only answer was, I am doing all this for you, I work hard to provide my family with the best that I can”.

Soon after George had passed his exams, he received a good job offer with a salary, which was significantly higher than he had before. So now George could provide his family with more expensive clothes, some luxury items or vacations in foreign countries. It was like a dream come true, but the family still did not get enough attention from George, as he continued to work very hard and often he did not get to see his family for most of the week.

Time passed and George’s hard work paid off, he was promoted. He decided to relieve his wife from domestic works, so he hired a maid. He also decided that their flat is not big enough for their family and they need a more spacious one. Thus he needed to work even harder and, moreover, he continued his studies, so that he would be promoted again. George worked so hard, that sometimes he even had to spend his weekends with his clients instead of his wife and children. And again, whenever family asked for his time and complained that they do not spend enough time together, he answered, that he was doing all this only for them.

A bit later George was promoted, so he could buy a spacious house with a beautiful view. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, George told his wife and kids, that now he decided not to take any studies and work not so hard that he could spend more time with his beloved family. The very next morning George did not wake up.

There is another side to this story:

 A lazy grasshopper laughed at a little ant as she was always busy gathering food. "Why are you working so hard?" he asked, "come into the sunshine and listen to my merry notes."

"But the ant went on her work. She said "I am working to store for the winter. Sunny days won't last forever." "Winter is so far away yet,” laughed the grasshopper back. 

And when the winter came, the ant settled down in her snug house. She had plenty of food to last the whole winter. The grasshopper had nothing to eat so; he went to the ant and begged her for a little corn.

The ant said, "You laughed at me when I worked. You yourself sang through the summer. So you better dance the winter away."

God has given us the discerning power as to when and how to work and when and how to rest. Use the best use of time for work, for recreation and for rest; for you may not get a chance for them in the future. Wise are the ones who know when to stop and when to work.when to stop and when to work. 

SELFIE CULTURE A PROJECTION OF SELFISHNESS?  

We are living in an age of selfie. Selfie is something that projects us alone, oblivious of the surrounding and the persons around. In this culture I feel that I can do anything myself – I don’t need another even to take a snap which I desire. Hence the ‘other’ becomes an intruder and inconvenience for me. Someone has pointedly put this question, “Who do you love the most?” to which the reply was, “I love myself the most.” To the further inquiry, “after that who?” the reply was, “Where is   time to love the other; I do not get enough time to love even myself!”

The story is told of a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Moreover, his village had the best corn crop in the country. 

One day a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

The reporter found it very strange in the competitive world. Hence he asked the farmer, "How is it that you share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?"

The farmer replied, "Don’t you know that the wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn plants in the vicinity? If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn…"

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves. This is true with our living situation.

If we want to live in peace, the neighbors also should live in peace. The things you do to make your life ‘secure’ without giving attention to your neighbor shall make you only a prisoner in your home (with security measures we take, we are creating prison out of our homes! How many of you could sleep peacefully, with the windows open and the fresh air coming in? How many of you can leave your homes for a few days to be with your children with peace of mind?

Realize: If we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbors grow good corn! 

“A BURNT BISCUIT NEVER HURT ANYONE;
 BUT YOUR WORDS SHALL”

The story is told of a father who, without grumbling, consumed the burnt biscuits prepared by his mother.  How considerate are we to our partners?

One evening the wife prepared a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burnt biscuits and served to the family members.  The children were unhappy and found it difficult to eat it. But when they looked at their father, he was eating it as if nothing happened, smiling and thanking his wife for the wonderful food. One of the children heard his mother apologizing for the burnt biscuit, but his father was consoling her at that time saying, “Honey, I love burned biscuits”.

Later that night the son who heard his father say the above, went to his father to say good night, as it was the practice in their home. He asked his father, “Dad, did you really like the burnt biscuits?”

He wrapped the son in his arms and said, “Your Mom put in a long hard day at work today and she is really tired… Besides, a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone; but your word shall!”

We should be aware that the world is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. Our attitude towards the ‘imperfect’ people should be that of compassion and consideration. Can we claim that we are the best at everything? If we accept that we also are imperfect, the negative perspective towards others changes. We become considerate.  What we have to learn is to accept each other’s faults and choose to celebrate each other’s differences. It is one of the most important key to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.  

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE EARTH TO BE: A HELL OR HEAVEN?

A man had a dream one night that he died and was taken to an unknown place. A guide came in and took him to a large room.

In the room there was a huge banquet table filled with all sorts of delicious foods. Around the table people were seated fixed to a seat with a spoon tied in each one’s hand. Since it was too long, they could not bring their hands to their mouths. What he saw was each one trying to feed themselves in spite of their difficulty to bend their hands. The food was spilled and spread all over, but no one could reach their mouths. They were grumbling and cursing.

The guide said, “This is hell. Come with me.” And he took him to another room.

In this room things were the same as the previous one. People were not able to feed food themselves because of the same reasons as in the other room. But they had a satisfied, pleasant look on their faces. Then he noticed the reason why they were happy: Each one was taking food and feeding the person sitting opposite to him in the table.  And the guide said, “This is heaven. Where do you want to be?” “Of course, I want to be here,” was the man’s reply. “Then, return to earth, start practicing it while on earth.”

People who try to achieve happiness with selfishness end up making earth a hell. But, if they mutually help, the earth can be made a heaven.    It is you who decide how you want the earth to be!

BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR TEMPER

Our life is so messed up that we find it difficult to control our emotions. We lose control and become haughty and irritated quickly. We never think of the hurt we make in the lives of others. Whether it is tiny or big, it leaves a permanent scar on the victims.

A story is told about a little boy who had a bad temper. He used to find fault with anything and everything. It was so disturbing that his wise father decided to do something about it. He gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he started controlling his anger, the number of nails hammered declined. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it. The father suggested that the boy now start pulling the nail out: one for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

There are irrevocable hurts which cannot be removed by just a ‘sorry’ or a thousand ‘sorry’. If you cut another with a knife, no ‘sorry’ will remove the scar. So we have to learn not to plant a scar on anyone.  

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later, because spoken words once out can never be taken back.

HAVE THE ACUMEN TO DO THE TRIPLE FILTER TEST

Socrates who is considered to be the father of Western philosophy is also known as “questioner of everything and everyone”.  His style of teaching—immortalized as the Socratic Method—involved not conveying knowledge but rather asking question after clarifying question until his students arrived at their own understanding.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?" 

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test.”

“The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" 

"Well, no," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and…"

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

 "Umm, no, on the contrary…," the person stammered to answer.

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?" 

 "No, not really," was his answer.

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

If only the people have the acumen to let what they try to convey about others have gone through these filters!

YOU RECEIVE WHAT YOU GIVE!

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, “Yes, Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

We expect everyone to be fair to us; but are we to others? We want everyone to be just, loving and what not; but we are not so for others. I am reminded of Jesus' words after he narrating the story of the good Samaritan "Go and do likewise"

We receive what we give! We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever we take an action, ask ourselves this question: “Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make?”

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves!