AN ADDENDUM TO THE PREVIOUS POST

I wish to share with you some of the insights I have come across in the Readers Digest June 2015 (Indian Edition) “Choice Words” from Jerry Seinfeld which supplements the previous post: NEVER MISUNDERSTAND EGO AS WISDOM.

“You need talent, you need brains, and you need confidence.  Those are three things you need to do virtually anything.  Confidence is a fascinating commodity.  There is no upper limit on the usefulness of it, as long as it doesn’t bleed into arrogance.” “The advice I would give [the younger me] – or any young person (I would add: any person of any age) – would be ‘Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.’”

May I also add another story to the above:

A young man, who thought himself to be much learned in theology was requested to preach in a big Church. His thought of himself as competent to do it gave an extra air of arrogance and he went up the pulpit with his head up.  But, when he saw the eager people looking at him to hear from him, his confidence has blown off like a balloon that has lost the air. He started stammering and couldn’t speak at all.  He went back with his head down in shame. Then the seasoned pastor of the Church made the following statement, “If you had come the way you had gone; you could have gone the way you came.” 

How true!

NEVER MISUNDERSTAND EGO AS WISDOM

Wisdom is not easy to attain, but the arrogance of the ego, which many a time is misunderstood as it comes easily and without much effort.   Wisdom is the death of the ego. When you are faced with egoism know well there is no wisdom in that person at all.  When wisdom comes, the ego goes.  And the more knowledgeable a man becomes, the more his ego deflates. Wisdom does not blot out the mystery of life, but it untangles it. When the secret of the universe and of the self is revealed, at the boiling point of wisdom the individual becomes empty and his ego perishes.  The ego was the source of ignorance and in the light of wisdom it dies. 

It is reported that Socrates said the following in his last days:  "When I was young I knew many things, and I used to think of myself as the wisest man in the world.  The more I grew, the more I became aware that I didn't know much.  And then the last thing happened - one day I suddenly realized that I knew nothing.” It is a paradox that on the same day, the Oracle at Delphi declared that Socrates was the wisest man in the world.  People who had heard the oracle came to him and told him that the Oracle has declared that he was the wisest man in the world.  Socrates looked shocked and he said, "There must have been some mistake, because just today I have realized that I don't know anything at all.  I am the most ignorant man in the world!  You please go and correct the oracle."  And they went and they told the oracle that Socrates himself says that he is the most ignorant man in the world.  The oracle said, "That's why I have declared him the wisest."

The signs of wisdom are prudence, humility and fearlessness. The Book of Proverbs (8:12) says “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion.”  Wisdom is:

Knowing the way things are.

Knowing the way the things work.

Knowing what to do about it fearlessly. 

 A BEAUTIFUL LETTER

Following is a beautiful letter to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster cum Child Psychologist. The words are actually applicable to all of us – sons or daughters, young or old, children or parents! 

Dear Son,

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons:

1.    Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable; nobody knows how long s/he lives. Some words are better said early. 

2.     I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will. 

3.     What are written are my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.

Remember the following as you go through life: 

1.     Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and also you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful; don't hastily regard him as a real friend. 

2.   No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must possess.  Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most. 

3.   Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4.   Love is but a transient feeling and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love. 

5.    A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags! 

6.   I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, either would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor. 

7.    You honor your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles. 

8.   I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch! 

9.   No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

 Your Ever Loving Dad. 

LEARN TO FIGHT STRESS

The pressures of modern life are so great that they affect us physically and mentally. We find that people experience anxiety, fear, depression and phobias. Nowadays we see the number of people increasing who cannot cope with life's struggles.

If our mind is positive and happy, we may feel physically better than when our mind is troubled and anxious. Our mental state can cause stress-related illnesses. Studies have shown that when we are angry or emotionally upset, chemicals released in our body prepare us for ‘'FIGHT’ or ‘FLIGHT’.

A man having stomach pain went to his doctor. The doctor asked if he was having trouble in his personal life or at his job.  The man explained that he was worried about some incidents that had happened at work with his boss and his co-workers. Was there something the man could do to change what had happened? ''No,'' responded the man. ''But it continues to bother me." The doctor said, ''There is nothing you can do about the past. Close the chapter and move on. You are upsetting yourself and your stomach over something you cannot change.'' The doctor prescribed some medicine, and advised him to forget the past to help expedite the cure of his stomachaches.

The next patient was a woman with migraine. She explained that she was afraid of making a wrong decision about her future. Sensing that this was causing her headaches, he told her, ''If you make a decision that turns out all right, there is nothing to worry about. If you make a decision that turns out wrong, you still have the option to rectify matters. No decision is irreversible. Make a list of your options; make a counter-plan for each option and then act. Analyse the situation, and then act. Then take each step as it comes.''

People either worry about a past that they cannot change, or they worry about a future that has not yet happened. Many worry over problems they anticipate or fears that never materialize. Many of our stress-related illnesses are due to problems that we face mentally, psychologically or emotionally. What is certain is that there are always going to be problems and our anxieties aggravate the problem.

Nobody said that life was going to be easy or that everything was going to be perfect. The question is, how do we handle our problems? Do we face them as a challenge and try to solve them, or do we fret and worry about them? We compound our problems by worry and fretting because this added stress can make us physically sick. We need to find some acceptable way to prevent the mental, emotional and physical effects of stress which are making us ill.