Judge less; love more.

Judge less and love more for none is perfect.

It is a general human tendency to judge others. Everyone seems to be the best judge for others; but the worst in their own case. So also each person is the best advocate for themselves; but the worst in other’s case.  We tend not to see our faults, but to judge others for their mistakes.  

We have to start learning to love others. Real love shall enable us to correct the ones we love. What we usually do is we speak out the ‘truth’ (you might have come across people who always claim that they cannot keep quiet when they see others’ faults; that they are straight forward that they cannot close the eye towards those who make mistakes. The strange fact is that they are the most intolerant when someone else points their mistakes).

It is said of a Bishop of Boston: Once while he was standing in his residence with a highly respected man of his diocese; a known drunkard was shouting abusive words. To this, the man standing near the bishop became very judgmental. Then the bishop responded: “I am the one that goes without God’s grace.” We have to remember that however just we are, it is because of God’s grace. We receive His grace because He is empathetic to us. Hence, we have to be empathetic to others.  Empathy can make wonders in others’ lives.

 Ignore the mistakes of others and love them instead.  If you avoid others for their mistakes and if people avoid you for your mistakes, where shall you stand? You will be alone in this world.

THE JOY OF SERVICE

There is none in the world who does not look for ways of joy in life. (May I call your attention to a post on 14^th April 2014. There I have noted about the difference between happiness and joy.)  In fact, whatever we do is to find joy in life. Different people use different means to achieve this but for many it ends with sleepless nights and peace less days.  I had a friend who had a reputable job in a Central Government firm. His educational qualification was such that if he had stuck to it, he would have had all the worldly facilities within a few years. But he left the job and started serving the slums of Mumbai. When I asked him why, he said, “The other job might have given me a fully furnished quarters, chauffeur driven car and a heavy pay; but this gives me satisfaction, sense of fulfillment and joy.”

Albert Schweitzer a theologian, organist, philosopher and physician was a person who found joy in his work in Africa. Many of his friends asked him why he left the lucrative position in the affluent community he was living. His reply was, “We desire happiness and peace and work to achieve it the best way possible.  I derive joy and sense of satisfaction in serving these helpless and hapless people.” It is said that his own brother ridiculed him saying that he shall regret about the decision to go to the primitive culture and he shall be a zero in life; but his persistence made him go to Africa. He received the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize for his philosophy of "Reverence for Life" expressed in many ways.  The paradox is that Albert’s name and fame has gone across the ages and his brother’s name is forgotten by the next generations.

Whatever we earn in the material world cannot be taken from here and the fate of those is that their name shall be forgotten along with their death. Whatever we give shall be remembered even after our death. Hence let us ask, “What is the legacy I am leaving when I die?” ” 

THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX (Cont.......)

(If you are new to my blog, please refer to my previous post: “Think Outside of the box”)

What are the logical answers and what is the answer as per lateral thinking?

Logical thinking can give us three answers:

1.   The girl should refuse to take a pebble. The result is her father              shall be thrown into jail.

2.  The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag       and expose the moneylender as a cheat. The result shall be the             moneylender shall look for ways to destroy them.

    3.  The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to       save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

The lateral thinking found a solution: The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. “Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.

Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.

THINK ‘OUTSIDE OF THE BOX’

There is no problem without a solution.  Many of the problems can be solved thinking logically and doing it step by step. But there are certain problems which cannot be solved logically and they can be solved only by thinking outside of the box.  The story below is used to prove the importance of lateral thinking.   Lateral thinking which is thinking outside the box, requires a lot more creativity.  Lateral thinking is generative, logical thinking is selective.

Many years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden.  As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.

What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? How can you save her from not marrying the ugly money lender and at the same time save her father from jail?

What are the logical answers and what is the answer as per lateral thinking?

You may leave your answers in the comment box or send it to gvkallumpuram@gmail.com

DETERMINATION: THE KEY TO SUCCESS

We live in a success-oriented world and the society praises the people who are 'successes' in life – be it in science, technology, religion, politics, sociology, education or any other field for that matter.  But it is a fact that there are so many fall-outs. The reasons for fall-outs are lack of determination and willingness to chase their dreams. When we look at the people who have succeeded in life in their own ways, we will find that they were people of determination and who were willing to chase their dreams.  In spite of their failures in many attempts they persisted on their attempts and eventually became ‘successes’.  The people behind the so called success stories were ‘failures’ till their success; but in spite of their ‘failure’, they persisted and pressed on.  When we see their success, we tend to forget the pain and toil behind it.

The secret of success is beautifully stated by St. Paul in his letter to Philippians. He says, “ Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  ‘Religion’ was his business and he shares the key for his success. You take any area which you feel like you are ‘called’ and follow the principle of St. Paul: “forget the past” – whether it was a failure or success,  “strain toward what is ahead” – whether you feel it is impossible to achieve and “press on toward the goal” – this is the only way of success.

  

It is read that Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times (the number of attempts is differed – from 1,000 to 10,000 – so let us read it as so many times) before creating the electric bulb.  His response to his repeated failures is important: “I have not failed. I have found those 10,000 ways does not work.” Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was four years old. Many people thought he was just a flop. He never spoke for the first three years of his life; and throughout elementary school, many of his teachers thought he was lazy and wouldn't make anything of himself. He always received good marks, but his head was in the clouds, conjuring up abstract questions people couldn't understand. But he kept thinking and, the result is part of history: he eventually developed the theory of relativity, which many of us still can't comprehend. Bill Gates' first business failed. His first company, Traf-O-Data (a device which could read traffic tapes and process the data), failed miserably. When Gates and his partner, Paul Allen, tried to sell it, the product wouldn't even work. Gates and Allen didn't let that stop them from going on trying. Here is how Allen explained how the failure helped them: “Even though Traf-O-Data wasn't a roaring success, it was seminal in preparing us to make Microsoft’s first product a couple of years later”   

These success stories must encourage us to succeed in work, business and life. The lessons we should learn are:

1.      Rejection should never stop you.

2.    Failure is not a problem at all.

3.    People who reject you know nothing.

4.    ‘Belief in yourself’ is the key to success in life.

AFTER LIFE, WHAT?

Following is a beautiful story in Malayalam, written by an author unknown. Since it is worth sharing, I translated it to English.

Two children in the womb of the mother started a conversation.

 The first one asked the other, “Do you believe that there is a life after delivery?”

The second one answered, “There should be continuity after this state. So I believe that there is a life after the delivery. May be, the changes that come in us is a preparation for the new life to come.”

“Foolishness!” quipped the first, “there is no life after the delivery. Even if there is, how shall it be?” The second one answered, “I don’t know how it shall be.  May be, it shall be more bright and we may be able to walk with our feet, eat with our mouth and shall be able to use all the parts of the body fully.”

“Mere stupidity! How is it possible to walk with our feet? How can we eat with our mouth? Are we not getting enough nutrients and vitamins through the umbilical cord? But its length is too short and we cannot move freely.  If we think logically, it is impossible to have a life after birth.”

The second one said, “I feel that the circumstance there shall be different from what we are having now. The umbilical cord itself may not be needed to live outside the womb.”

“Never!” the first one continued the argument, “may I ask you – let us assume that there is a life after this – then why no one returns? Birth is the end of everything. After that it shall be darkness, silence and frozenness! Nothing and nothing else.”

“I don’t know,” the second one said, “but I am sure that we shall see our mother and she shall protect us.”

The first one commented, “Mother? Do you really believe in mother? I feel like laughing when I think of your stupidity.  If mother is a reality, where is she now?”

“We are surrounded by her.” said the second, “We are part of her and we live in her.  If she is not there, our world also would not have been here.”

“But I can’t see the mother.  My reasoning does not permit me to believe what I cannot see,” said the first to which the second one replied, “at times, when we are silent and concentrate, we can feel her presence and hear her call us from the above.”

BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR COMMITMENT

At the time of adversities and troubles we commit our lives and belongings to God.  But, once it is fulfilled, we find ways to escape from the commitment made- we either tend to ignore it or justify our avoidance.

A ship was caught up in a storm in the sea. All were panicked and they started praying intensely. There was a wealthy man among them and he also prayed loud:   "If you save us today Lord, I shall sell my property and distribute the proceeds to the poor."  After a few minutes the storm stopped.  He regretted about his commitment. Since everyone in the ship has heard, he could not go back from his promise.   He published that he is going to sell the property.  He tied a cat in front of the house and priced it to be 10 million rupees and priced the property to be Re.10.  There was one condition that both shall be sold together only.   It was sold as per his instruction because both together it was worth it. The rich man pocketed Rs. 10 million and distributed ten rupee to the poor.  Thus he kept the commitment.

Are we different when we make a commitment to God? Are we willing to keep our commitment or find ways of by-passing it?